Looking Forward While Thinking Back

We are sooooo looking forward to the adventure of being foster parents! But the more I think about the people who will be coming into our world, the more I remember someone very special who left this world.... 

My grandma.

She is probably the most influential person in my life. I miss her more and more as time passes. The anniversary of her death is approaching; it will be 4 years- 4 of the longest and shortest years of my life. It feels like forever in the sense of so much has happened since she left. I graduated, got married, had a baby, started my endeavor to become a teacher, and now fostering. But it seems like just yesterday that I was in her kitchen on Myrtle Street sitting at the breakfast bar with Grandma. So many things happened there: reading her Bible together, putting together puzzles, hand-making Christmas gifts for our friends. 

Have you ever had that person in your life who grounded you but lifted you up at the same time? That was her. She loved everyone, and everyone loved her back. She taught me how to pray, how to cook, and how to love. Without her, I would not be the same person I am today.

She would be so excited for us. I remember when DH and I got engaged. She was one of the only people truly happy for us. She was so excited about my dress and my ring. I wish she could have been at the wedding in person, but I know she was there in spirit. 

Ah... I'm a mess, right? I guess that's just what happens when you lose someone you love so much!

So this leads back to our upcoming journey. I know we're going to fall in love with these kiddos! And then, they're going to have to leave. And it's going to hurt. And I'm going to cry...probably a lot! But that's the life of a foster mom, right? But who wouldn't want to have that much love in their life?

So for anyone who's reading this, whether you miss someone dearly or are on the fence about fostering because you're worried about getting hurt in the process, remember that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. <3

Gifts from Above

Tonight I was going to write about my big long list of things to do and buy before our home study. Well, I turned on Netflix and found this show called "The Fosters." I wrote a couple paragraphs, and then I erased it all. Why? Because in that first episode, the main foster child paints a picture of a violent foster parent, and she runs away from her new home back to that abusive house to rescue her little brother. And when she gets there, she tries to sneak in, gets caught, and the man pushes her around and pulls a gun. Thankfully, her foster parents showed up, one of which was a police woman, and had the man arrested.

Um, wow. Obviously there's a Hollywood spin to that, but....

Are there really foster parents out there like that? I mean, why would someone be a foster parent if they're so full of rage and hate? They don't HAVE to be a foster parent. And even if they want to be but have a problem with a foster child, they can disrupt the placement. It's not like they can be in it for the money! I just don't know how anyone could be mean to these children!

But, what I do know is that I will love them. I will protect them. I will treat them with dignity and show them their worth. They were created by a loving God, and they are important to Him. And so they will be important to our family.

Matthew 18:10
Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, 

And all through this home, 

Our hearts were all stirring 

For what is to come!

Ok, so maybe I'm not as poetic as I thought I was! But I tried, haha. 

This Christmas Eve is a little different. I'm not reflecting on the past year like I usually do. Instead, I'm thrilled about the upcoming year! I can't believe that this time next year, there is a HUGE possibility that we will have another child in our home, decorating the Christmas tree, singing Christmas carols, baking cookies, and stringing cotton balls on yarn (Yes, we did that this year instead of lights)!

How exciting it will be to hang their stocking on the mantle and buy them their very own ornament just like we buy for Jetbaby every year!

As foster parents, we will need to communicate what children we will accept into our home. Of course, I want to say "ALL OF THEM!" But in reality, that's just not an option. So DH and I have decided that we're going to be accepting little girls younger than Jetbaby into our home. We think that it's the safest option for Jetbaby and that we'll be most effective in that way because we kinda sorta know what we're doing in that age range. (At least we'd like to think so!)

Anywhooo, I just can't wait to wrap up that little girl's presents in Minnie or My Little Ponies or Princess wrapping paper. Then seeing her face light up when she tears it all to shreds to find books and blocks and puzzles. Because chances are.... she might have never experienced that before.

Can you imagine that? 

We might not be able to buy her fancy vtech tablets or name brand clothes, but she will know that she is loved and valued. And that's what's important, right?

I cannot wait! But tomorrow, I will cherish every second I have with my Jetbaby, because she is growing up too quickly!

I hope you all have a merry Christmas!

Just the Beginning

Wow! I can’t believe I finally started a blog! I suppose I will start with an explanation of this blog’s title.

I am a young military wife and mother. Our life revolves around the military. Hurry up and wait, if you will. We are at the beginning of our journey with Uncle Sam, but I couldn’t imagine not being in this relationship. My heart bleeds red, white, and blue with pride-not only for my husband, but also for all the other defenders of freedom current and past, for the freedom they’ve fought for, and for the good left in this nation. So there you have the “Red, White, and Blue” part.

I think “Living” is pretty self-explanatory. I am a college student working towards a degree in Elementary Education. I’m a primarily stay at home mom, even though we’re not home very much. We live within our means, couponing, saving, thrifting. You get the picture I’m sure!

And then there’s “Loving”! This is my favorite part! I love my husband, of course. And I love my Lord. He is so gracious to our family. And I love my daughter, who was quite the surprise. My hubby and I joke that God has a sense of humor because we had a 5 year plan. We got married 3 weeks after I graduated high school, so once we moved to where my husband was stationed I was going to start college the next semester and then get a job as a teacher, and THEN we’d think about starting our family. Well, 5 MONTHS into our marriage, we found out there was a bun in the oven. And the more I find out about the contraception I was using and my fertility obstacles, the more and more I’m amazed at the miracle that is my daughter. Oh, how I adore that sassy child, who is apparently exactly like me. (What goes around, comes around, ladies!)

 Anywho, as much as I love my little sassafras, I can’t help but feel like our family is incomplete. So, we’ve been “TTC” (Trying to Conceive) for over a year and a half. In September 2012, I finally got that positive test that I had been praying for! And then…I lost the baby. The heartbreak of losing the one thing in the world that you wanted so badly… it crushed me. So after going through that, we started to talk about adoption, which led to fostering.

Believe it or not, my Senior year in high school a couple came into our Bible class and talked to us about fostering, and ever since then, it’s been in the back of my heart. So when hubby and I started discussing foster care, I felt very strongly about it. But since my husband is the logical man that he is, we said that if we didn’t have a baby by Christmas 2013, we’d start the process of becoming foster parents. So here we are…. Christmas Eve… not pregnant. So after many prayers and much research, we called DFCS and are getting started! It’s this huge step in our lives, and I’m so ready to LOVE these children.

Love them through the good, the bad, the ugly, the pain, the rebellion, the visitations, the counseling, the struggles, the milestones, the celebrations, the reunions, and maybe even the adoptions. Because they deserve to be loved and cared for and shown the JOY in life. They deserve stability and fun and adventures! They deserve to know that whatever their family did to lose them was NOT THEIR FAULT. They deserve… LOVE. And I want to show them that.

So here I write this little blog. I don’t know if anyone will read it, but it’s out there. And I’m excited to start this journey and share it with you along the way.