Love

Love

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Looking Forward While Thinking Back

We are sooooo looking forward to the adventure of being foster parents! But the more I think about the people who will be coming into our world, the more I remember someone very special who left this world.... 

My grandma.

She is probably the most influential person in my life. I miss her more and more as time passes. The anniversary of her death is approaching; it will be 4 years- 4 of the longest and shortest years of my life. It feels like forever in the sense of so much has happened since she left. I graduated, got married, had a baby, started my endeavor to become a teacher, and now fostering. But it seems like just yesterday that I was in her kitchen on Myrtle Street sitting at the breakfast bar with Grandma. So many things happened there: reading her Bible together, putting together puzzles, hand-making Christmas gifts for our friends. 

Have you ever had that person in your life who grounded you but lifted you up at the same time? That was her. She loved everyone, and everyone loved her back. She taught me how to pray, how to cook, and how to love. Without her, I would not be the same person I am today.

She would be so excited for us. I remember when DH and I got engaged. She was one of the only people truly happy for us. She was so excited about my dress and my ring. I wish she could have been at the wedding in person, but I know she was there in spirit. 

Ah... I'm a mess, right? I guess that's just what happens when you lose someone you love so much!

So this leads back to our upcoming journey. I know we're going to fall in love with these kiddos! And then, they're going to have to leave. And it's going to hurt. And I'm going to cry...probably a lot! But that's the life of a foster mom, right? But who wouldn't want to have that much love in their life?

So for anyone who's reading this, whether you miss someone dearly or are on the fence about fostering because you're worried about getting hurt in the process, remember that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. <3

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